5 Things I Learned From Getting My Heart Broken.
“Someday you're gonna look back on this moment of your life as such a sweet time of grieving. You'll see that you were in mourning and your heart was broken, but your life was changing...” -Elizabeth Gilbert
Not too long ago (while at the same time, what feels like an eternity ago), I had my heart broken. I think that within the confines of everything that happens to us in our lives, we can always choose to find the good in what seems like a painfully negative situation. Here is what I learned from perhaps the most painful thing I've ever had to experience:
1) It's okay not to be okay.
The truth is, happiness isn't always a straight line. Happiness doesn't always look like it does on social media or in the movies. No, the truth is happiness is an internal state of being that feels all of life's colours and all of life's many tones. But so often in life, we hide away from the different shades of grey and black that also colour our life, because they bring us pain and discomfort.
But the truth is... Discomfort means your growing.
It means you are shedding your skin and growing into who you've always been meant to be. It means you are evolving and changing, but also, that it's okay to accept and validate these feelings. These feelings are part of us and it's okay to not be okay sometimes. What's most important at the end of the day, is that you allow yourself to feel the pain. Because it's only when you give yourself permission to feel sadness and hurt, that you can finally move past it.
2) There is something good to be taken from everything.
Even the most horrible and tragic situations in life have something good to be taken from them. At the time, it may not always seem like it. But as time heals your wound and it becomes a scar that reminds you of strength and courage, you'll realize that you can choose to take any situation in life, and choose to take the positives from it rather than the negatives.
3) They weren't the one.
It's so painful to put your heart out for someone and have the other person reject you or make you feel like you aren't enough. It's so painful to be vulnerable and show your true colours, when the other person doesn't love you for who you truly are.
But you need to realize that they just weren't the one for you. They weren't the one that you wanted to wake up to every single morning. They weren't the one that would fill your life with so much joy that you don't need anything else in this world to complete you. They weren't the one that can list off your favourite things to do and want to be with you through the good times and the bad. They weren't the one that deserved you. That deserves all of you.
And you deserve the love that will make you feel as though you are the one, no matter what day of the week it is.
4) Life will always have ups and downs.
But when you think about it, would you really want it any other way? Life is never a perfectly straight line in one direction. There's twists and turns, detours and changes of direction, revelations and choices amongst the journey and a whole lot of times when you'll just wanna crawl into your bed and give up.
But at the same time, would you really want it any other way? Life is amazing, and all you have to do is begin choosing to see it that way. Be grateful for the journey and always remember how lucky you are to have all the things that you do. Gratitude is always the gateway to truly start living and appreciating life again.
5) You Grow Through Everything.
No matter what happens in life, we are always growing. We are always learning and experiencing, drifting and flowing, and from that, you can always find comfort. If you happen to be going through a difficult time right now, don't shy away from it. Use this as an opportunity to learn and grow. To decide not only what you want in a partner, but also, to decide that you deserve better in life.
You deserve all the love you could ever imagine, as well as the life that you've always dreamt to be living. Always remember that.