How To Finally Stop Self-Sabotaging.
“Resistance by definition is self-sabotage.” -Steven Pressfield
In life, we often may find ourselves going back on our commitments. We know what we need to do to create the life that we want for ourselves, yet, we constantly find ourselves procrasinating on the things we need to do in order to get there. As a result, we never feel truly satisfied or happy with ourselves, placing difficult expectations and guidelines on our own happiness and well-being and never achieving the fulfillment were desperately craving.
To stop this endless cycle of not feeling good enough, it's important that we first understand where our self-sabotage is coming from. To put it in simple terms, our self-sabotage is coming from a place of lack in our lives. A place in which we don't think we're good enough or deserving of what we ultimatley want in life. A place where were afraid to fail, let alone, even try to succeed if given the opportunity. And if you're anything like me, you're afraid of not being perfect as well.
However, if we don't take control and responsbility for how we're feeling, we will constantly be a slave to the things that we value the most such as our time and our energy. You see, dealing with self-sabotage is about consciously making a choice in your life. A choice to choose the uncertainty of discomfort and embrace the fear of not knowing. It's about not being afraid to jump into a new reality and not knowing exactly what may happen when you give something your all.
The fear that you aren't good enough is perhaps exactly what's stopping you from being deserving of what you really want in life. We sabotage ourselves out of fear for things not going well or because we simply believe that we aren't good enough. But the truth is, you need to question this belief. You need to ask yourself if the way you're thinking about yourself and your life is ultimately real, or if it's simply a self-created bias based on your past traumas and expierences in your life.
Each and every one of us can recall a time where we've failed. But oftentimes we only rememeber the hardships from our failures. We rarely ever remember the moments of growth, the moments of clarity and the lessons we learned from the most difficult times in our lives. You see, what we focus on grows stronger and if you focus on your percieved shortcomings, then that is exactly what will become prevalanent in your life. Instead, you need to focus on what you have to be proud and how far you've come. Because at the end of the day, life is merely a subjective perception of how we see things and we choose the lens in which we see our lives.
In the past, I've let myself sabotage the things that I've loved. Whether it was a relationship, a goal that I may have had or a chance that I should have taken in the long run. Although I can't go back and change the past, I took a lot from it in the present moment. I realized that I have to feel whole and complete no matter what the external circumstances may dictate and I also learned that with every failure comes an even greater lesson to learn from.
While self-sabotage may come from different places for all of us, the solution is finding happiness in the moment now. It's choosing to be proud of the story you've written for yourself thus far and consciously priortizing your own happiness, while all the while, not loathing or hanging your head on the inevitable mistakes you will make throughout your journey. While fear may creep into the back of your mind throughout your life, that doesnt mean it has to control you. That doesn't mean it needs to dictate who you will become.
So to you, the reader...
Stop waiting until you succeed to allow yourself to be happy now. Stop blaming yourself for past failures and give yourself permission to let go of the outcome. And most importantly, give yourself permission to fail, make mistakes and know that life is all about the ups and downs. Give yourself permission to finally be human. Give yourself permission to be imperfect. Give yourself permission to finally live.