Read This, If You're Feeling Lonely...
“When I get lonely these days, I think: So BE lonely, Liz. Learn your way around loneliness. Make a map of it. Sit with it, for once in your life. Welcome to the human experience. But never again use another person's body or emotions as a scratching post for your own unfulfilled yearnings.” -Elizabeth Gilbert
Oftentimes in life, we mistake loneliness for being alone. We desperately seek connection from others, only to later realize however, that connection is not what we're really after and what we really need to feel whole and complete. Connection with another human being will never fill the gaping void that we're missing in our lives, because ultimately, that void can only be filled by cultivating the relationship with ourselves. The one relationship that truly matters the most.
We blame our outside circumstances, our parents, our friends, the fact that we can't find someone special to share our world with... Yet, the true problem actually resides deep within ourselves and our inability to find happiness on our own.
The truth is, you can be all alone in the world and be the happiest person there is. On the other hand, you can have all the friends in the world and have a significant other that loves you, but feel the most alone you have been. Because the truth is... Your relationship with yourself and your mindset towards life, are the real reason that you're feeling lonely.
Being in a committed relationship myself, I can tell you that the first and most important thing I've learned is that relationships work best when you both find happiness from within. You live your independent lives pursuing your own goals and dreams, but are always there for support and love no matter what. Because you see, relationships can only flourish when two people are independently growing and cultivating themselves to be the best they can be for the other person.
Loneliness is a mindset. It's an inherent feeling of lack in your life, where in reality, their never really was one. Perhaps you haven't found the person of your dreams yet. Perhaps you don't have the greatest support group in the world. But perhaps all you're missing in your life is a little more compassion, empathy and love towards yourself that you haven't ever been able to give because you've been so focused on what's wrong and missing in your life.
We may not be able to control what happens us in our lives or how other people may treat us, but we can always choose how we respond to everything that we expierence. We can choose to see how much we have, what we have to be grateful for, what we have to appreciate, and most importantly, what we have to be happy and fulfilled about.
Because on the other side of loneliness, is a chance to see things differently. To dig deeper within ourselves and our soul to see the good in our world, rather than constantly focusing on what's missing or who's missing in it.
Everyday, we have a choice to choose happiness. Everyday, we are only here for a limited time in this world. And everyday, we have a choice to be grateful for whatever situation we're in, or choose to see what's inherently wrong with our lives. The choice is always ours.