Read This When You're In A Rut...
"The eyes of others our prisons; their thoughts our cages.” ― Virginia Woolf
Lately, I've been looking much deeper within myself, all in efforts to unravel who I really am and also break-free of who I think I need to be. I've come to see that we filter out our day-to-day life with the gauze of constantly trying to please others.
However, in doing so, we end up becoming something that we're not. And in turn, we live in a way that isn't true to who we really are.
We protect ourselves from the judgement of others by doing what we are "supposed" to do. Yet, something inherently is always missing in our lives and I've sought for so long now to find out what that was for me.
At first, I thought there was something humbling about living in a way that makes other people happy.
As I sit here writing this, I am currently in summer school looking to apply to do a Master's in Psychology. And for awhile, this was nice, safe if you will. It was what made my parents, grandparents and family happy. So it seemed like the way to go, at the time.
However, something changed within me along the way to this goal- something that was difficult for me to explain for awhile- because I couldn't quite understand what it was.
On the surface, I had it all together again. I was going back to school, I had an amazing relationship, incredible friends, great health and a pretty incredible family, to top it all off. Yet, something within me felt incomplete and I couldn't quite put my thumb on what that "something" happened to be.
But as I began to get deeper into my classes and deeper into my own conscious, I realized that I all I had was a safe and predictable plan for what my life was going to look like. But although safe and predictable, I noticed that my life began to became seemingly bland, dull and uninspiring. As though I had it all laid out for me at the young age of 24.
What I was missing... Was my creativity. My youth. Or in other terms, a life that wasn't so laid out for me and predictable. A life that is filled with all the colours of being young and a life that made me feel so excited again to wake up every morning. A life with something to work towards.
It's safe to say that for awhile there, I lost my youth. I lost what kept me light, vibrant and filled with life.
I've come to see now that it is incredibly easy to wake up one day and realize you are simply going along with the day-to-day motions of life. Simply just passing by time, instead of actually living through it, fully.
I think that when many people grow older, they let go of their youth thinking their life is already made for them. And I guess for me, I grew up just a little too quickly for my own good.
But as life constantly goes to show you- you learn from everything that happens to you. And from this, I learned that yes, having some "realistic" goals in your life is always good thing, but I also learned through it all to never be afraid to shoot for the stars, because you never know where you may land.
I truly believe that something exciting and creative to work towards is so needed in this life for each and every one of us. Whether you see it as a "creative escape" or a "passion project" that you just want to become your life... We all need a little creativity in our lives. We all need to live like we're young forever.
And whether you're 50 or 25, you're never too old to start truly living.
So here's to a life of your very own creation and life that is sure to be your own masterpiece.